reevaluation

the transition to mommyhood has been one that constantly requires me to evaluate my life.

in attempts to be my best version of a mom, wife, friend, employee, & person, it seems that some of my efforts are concentrated in one area which leaves something to be overlooked.

these past two weeks have required me to focus a lot on my career and the responsibilities within it. the work day would leave me feeling exhausted & mentally drained; however, there was still the expectation that i’d transition into the joys and duties of tending to lucy & her development in a 10-minute window of time once the school day ended. during this time, i didn’t give much time to connecting with people in my life or working out or being active outside my standard roles of “mom”, “employee”, or “maid”. Goo.

last weekend left me feeling GREAT–i felt a sense of purpose & accomplishment when reflecting on how i spent my time. nothing tremendous was achieved that weekend [lu advanced to a new car seat–wahoo], but i think–without intention–i created a sense of balance. when reflecting on what exactly happened to create this feeling, i noticed a few similarities between each day: they began early & they involved a morning activity that got me out of the house on my own. as i age, i recognize how much sleeping in is something i don’t enjoy in hindsight simply because i don’t like wasting time [my days of being akin to eeyore are over–kinda]. the morning activities i did aren’t worth detailing. they matter because they got my day going!

i’m gradually identifying myself as a person that enjoys other people. i notice more how much i relish interactions–big & small. part of me wants to cling on to the introverted side that shelters me. it’s a safe zone. i sometimes think i’ll flop and flounder when i mingle with people, but i’ve had more experiences that suggest that’s all in my head.

i think two takeaways are most evident: i do best when there’s a little structure to my day & i need to push myself to engage in more opportunities that get me engaging with other people.

so with this realization, i make these proclamations for myself:

  • i’m going to think about 2-3 activities/tasks i want to involve in my week & determine when they’d be best accomplished. these will become priorities.
  • find time that goes unused. example: when ry comes home after lax practice, there is a 45-minute period i can claim as “workout/physical activity” time. again, this will be a priority.
  • take advantage of meetup–a social network tool that helps you to connect with local people that share similar interests. for too long i’ve lamented about the unlikelihood that i’d meet people in this area where we’ll likely live for sometime. in the past, i’d avoid an idea of this sort like the plague because anxiety would deter me from thinking i would actually have fun doing this. and even though i’ll likely have to wrangle myself away from instantly reverting to this mindset, i’ll try to calm my mind and ease it from traveling in that direction. if i can get past this and train my mind to believe that most things are worth experiencing once, i’ll be a success.

have you ever felt the need to reevaluate & reclaim? what mindsets did you have to shift to feel reconnected & revitalized?

 

 

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